I know this has been discussed to death over at Feminist Mormon Housewives but I still can't wrap my brain around it. The following is a quote by Elaine Dalton. Sister Dalton is the General Young Women's President. The title means she is the head of the programming and instruction of girls ages 12 - 18 under the direction of the General Authorities (all men) of the church. This quote is taken from a devotional she gave at BYU. The talk was given this year. I really was going to suffer through the entire 35 minute devotional just so I could back up the claim that the quote is not taken out of context but the devotional is no longer available online. I can't really imagine any context that would make this more palatable, though.
I actually am okay with most of the paragraph. Sure, it's trite but luckily, it is also vague. I will teach my daughter that schooling, parenting, and working all fit under the "virtuous womanhood and motherhood" umbrella. True, Sister Dalton probably meant it in the more traditional "get married and have babies" sense but it is at least something I can work with.
The phrase that makes me second guess my decision to raise my daughter within this church is: "and thus will see no need to lobby for rights." What!?! To paraphrase a good friend, that's just one step away from telling Mormon women they can't vote because voting is taking unrighteous dominion over their husbands. After all, good girls are content with their place. Good girls would never question the church. Good girls don't expect things that aren't already offered to them.
Bah. That is not what I want for my daughter. I do not want her to be complacent. I want her to stretch and grow and develop. I want her to fight to make things better. I want her to know that she is every bit as important as boys. And it is terrifying to me that the person who is in charge of her instruction believes that she should not "lobby for rights".
I think Sister Dalton mentioned it because this year Mormon women have gotten a little uppity. They have . . . wait for it . . . tried to start a solidarity campaign to wear pants (dress pants) to church one ONE Sunday. and we have also . . . written letters (oh the horror) to ask our leaders to let women pray in general conference. Clearly we are getting out of hand. Sigh.
I have no idea why our leaders feel threatened. I am an LDS mother who agrees that family is important. I am proud to focus nearly all of my energies on raising my children. I am glad to be part of an organization that values my contribution. I do understand my roles and responsibilities both as a mother and as a Mormon. And you know what? Part of those responsibilities is to LOBBY FOR RIGHTS. I want there to be room for everybody. I want women to be able to pray in important meetings. I want the funding to be equal between boy and girl youth programs. I want woman's organizations to answer to each other in a more meaningful way. and I am here to stay.
8 comments:
I love you, Taylor. I can't understand how people can find something as simple as asking for the chance to pray in a meeting or wearing dress pants to church for feminism to be so threatening. For all the talks they give that put women up on pedestals, their actions certainly don't reflect the sentiment. This statement makes me ill... Looking at the rape protests in India, the feminists being murdered in Middle Eastern Countries, and some of the ridiculous quotes about rape and birth control made by American political leaders, there is no way in hell I am NOT going to lobby for womens' rights. I am pretty sure God is with me on this.
Amen!! Well said, Taylor. I feel like standing up and doing a hallelujah dance after reading this post. I really liked what you said about not wanting your daughter to be complacent. One of the most important things to teach our kids- standing up and making a change when change needs to be made. Oh, and what you said about teaching her that being a virtuous woman can mean many, many things and come in many different forms as we, women, are all unique in the lives we live. Amen again!
And, seriously? Geesh. I, too, agree with 99% of that paragraph but the last line makes me so discouraged. I take pride in the times I've "lobbied". I put together a peace rally in high school with picketing signs and everything and I'm pretty dang proud of that.
Sister Dalton, you are providing to our precious young women a powerful example of womanhood and motherhood. How I wish you took a broader view of your role and responsibilities. It's a sad day when the designated and adored leader of the young women in the church says, "Girls, don't make waves."
Taylor, Sister Dalton is powerful as a charismatic speaker and spokesperson. BUT she likely has little clout in decisions about instructional programming. When I worked in church curriculum, that's one of the things I was lobbying to change. General presidencies and board members had little input and were seldom represented on the lesson committees. They were screaming to be let in though (politely, of course), so perhaps that has changed...
Mom, how would you describe what her job is? I figured she didn't have input but I wasn't sure what to say without being totally snarky.
Good point, Taylor. I just wanted to lessen your fears of her impact on the instructional program.
Oh you women and your opinions....
Seriously, I'm glad you wrote about this. The video is working now, at least in Internet Explorer (requires Flash, and why does byutv.org run ads before talks?!).
I haven't finished listening yet, so I don't have any new insights.
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